my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
