Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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