great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
