I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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