dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
