"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
