I must be too annoying 4 u.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
