Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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