I swear she didn't look like that last week.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
