i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
