when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Randomize
