I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
