Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
