no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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