Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
