I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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