Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You are a booty call, not a friend.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
