i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize