aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
