He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize