the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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