you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
What a dumb baby whore.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
