This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
