Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Randomize
