O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
