and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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