He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
