its not stalking. its research.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
