i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I got inside last night via doggy door
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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