haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
