Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
