I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
