Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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