i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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