Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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