I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You can't just leave with hair like that
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
