I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
