Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
