I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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