it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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