I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
