Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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