I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You took a bar mat shot.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
