lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
