I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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