The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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