If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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