are you so shy because you have an std?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I will pee on everything he values.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
