how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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