TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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