I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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