I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I just found a bag of teeth...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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