He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize