at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
