i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
When are your genitals available?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
