I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
