you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
