Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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