nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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