he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
