I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
She's the barista slut.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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